Eric Woolfson - Trust Me Lyrics

GRISWOLD:
When the world is unforgiving
When a life's not worth the living
There's a lost sheep to be rescued
And a way must be found

Let us treat him like a brother,
Let us love him like a mother.
He can trust us, we're his good friends
And we'll never, ever let him down!

We must share our confession
Of his every transgression,
Lest some slight indiscression
Should tarnish his crown,

To procure his redemption,
For his good and protection,
You can tell me, I'm his good friend,
And I'll never ever let him down!

ALL:
To procure his redemption,
For his good and protection!
We can tell you, you're his good friend,
And you'll never ever let him down!

(Gossip!)
Gossip, gossip!
(Scandal!)
Scandal, scandal!
(Rumor!)
Rumor, rumor!
(Slander!)
Slander, slander!
(Libel!)
Libel, libel, tittle tattle!
Mustn't spread it around...

(Gossip!)
Chit chat!
(Scandal!)
Chew the fat!
(Rumor!)
Spill the beans!
(Slander!)
Dish the dirt!
(Libel!)
Dirty laundry, tittle tattle!
But we'll never let him down!

GRISWOLD:
Blind to his faults, to a degree
No one more tolerant,
No better friends than we.

ALL:
Let us treat him like a brother!
Let us love him like a mother!
He can trust us, we're his good friends
And we'll never, ever let him down!

(Anger!)
Anger, anger!
(Envy!)
Envy, envy!
(Malice!)
Malice, malice!
(Poison!)
Poison, poison
(Stab!)
Stab, stab, rotten bastard!
But don't spread it around!

(Gossip!)
Anger, anger!
(Scandal!)
Envy, envy!
(Rumor!)
Malice, malice!
(Slander!)
Poison, poison!
(Libel!)
Stab, stab, inuendo!
But we'll never let him down!

Blind to his faults, to a degree
No one more tolerant,
No better friends than we!
Judging his sins, mercifully!

GRISWOLD:
Here is the final list of which we can agree:

Alcoholic, plagiaristic,
Vitriolic, narcissistic,
Diabolic, syphilitic,
But we mustn't spread it round!

Necrophilic, psychopathic,
Schizophrenic, pornographic!
But don't quote me, I'm his best friend
And I'll never, ever let him down!

ALL:
Necrophilic, psychopathic,
Schizophrenic, pornographic!
We must help him, he's our good friend
And we'll never, ever let him down!

(Gossip!)
Gossip, gossip!
(Scandal!)
Scandal, scandal!
(Rumor!)
Rumor, rumor!
(Slander!)
Slander, slander!
(Libel!)
Libel, libel, tittle tattle!
Mustn't spread it around...

(Gossip!)
Chit chat!
(Scandal!)
Chew the fat!
(Rumor!)
Spill the beans!
(Slander!)
Dish the dirt!
(Libel!)
Dirty laundry, tittle tattle!
But we'll never let him down!

POE:
Griswold, I've decided to write!
You should be my literary executor!

GRISWOLD:
Me??

REYNOLDS:
Him??

GRISWOLD:
How exciting!

REYNOLDS:
How delightful!

GRISWOLD:
How rewarding!

REYNOLDS:
How insightful!

GRISWOLD:
There's a sense of jubilation,
And the feeling is profound!
Such perfection to admire,
No opinion could be higher!

REYNOLDS:
You can trust him, he's your best friend
And he'll never, ever let him down!

GRISWOLD:
Shh!!

You can trust me, I'm you're best friend
And I'll never, ever let you down!

ALL:
You can trust him he's your best friend
And he'll never, ever let you down!!