Adam Sandler "The Buffoon And The Valedictorian" |
Announcer: And now the Buffoon's date at the drive-in.. With the School's Valedictorian. Valedictorian: I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement. Buffoon: This movie sucks shit! Valedictorian: Well, Ebert gave it thumbs up, but Siskel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly. Buffoon: Cathleen turner has big fuckin' tits! Valedictorian: Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she? Buffoon: I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off! Valedictorian: Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process. Buffoon: That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head! Valedictorian: Well, I guess she's starved for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it. (Sounds of Buffoon eating popcorn) Buffoon: This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it! Valedictorian: Well the thought of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank. Buffoon: I looked at my asshole in the mirror today, It blew my fuckin' mind!" Valedictorian: It's ironic that parts of one's body can seem odd and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis. Buffoon: My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day! Valedictorian: It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's. I wonder whether its a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism. Buffoon: I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl! (Sounds of Buffoon Getting out of the car) Valedictorian: While, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion, I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevous. Buffoon: I's like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank! Valedictorian: Bye bye! have fun! Lyric from www.lyricmania.com |